Do you want to let go of someone you love? Here’s how to do it in 3 steps.
Letting go is easier said than done.
We often see in movies where the protagonist wishes their ex to find happiness and love only to find out later that they are not over it.
This conflict occurs because they are not focusing on the positive outcomes of letting go.
If you want to let someone go, you must focus on what you can get out of this process.
Whether it’s healing, freedom, or happiness, the reward must be greater than the cost in order for you to commit to the process.
This echoes the teaching from A Course In Miracles which says miracle workers are generous out of self-interest.
We are more inclined to do something if there’s something in it for us.
Here are 3 steps you can use to clarify and reap the benefits of letting go.
1. Want It
The first step to let go of someone is to want it.
The only reason why we find it hard to let go of someone is deep down inside we don’t want to.
If you want to truly release someone from your life, you have to want it yourself.
Don’t do it because your friends tell you to. Don’t do it because it’s been too long. Don’t do it because it’s the “right” thing to do.
Do it because you want to do it.
Do it because you want to feel free. Do it because you want to feel released. Do it because you want to be happy.
Your genuine desire to feel good is essential for the letting go process.
2. Clarify What You Want
The second step to let go of someone is to clarify what you want right now.
Ask yourself, “What do I want and how do I want to feel?”
Write down your answers and be unapologetic about your desires.
Some common desires when letting go of someone may be:
- I want to be free.
- I want to feel released.
- I want to be happy.
- I want to feel joyful.
- I want to be at peace.
Write as many or as little as you want.
Just make sure you resonate with them and you can believe in them.
These affirmations will be important for the final step of the release process.
3. Want For Them What You Want For Yourself
The final step to let go of someone is to want for them what you want for yourself.
On the physical plane, we think that what we give away we lose.
But on the spiritual plane, we only get to keep what we give away.
This is the concept of universal oneness which states that we are all one.
There is no place where you start and I stop. And no place where I start and you stop.
This means that what we give to others, we give to ourselves. And what we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves.
So if you want to be released from someone, you must first release them.
Reframe your desires into affirmations that facilitate this giving and receiving process.
- I set you free so I can be free.
- I release you so I can be released.
- I want you to be happy so I can be happy.
- I wish you joy so I can be joyful.
- I want you to be at peace so I can be at peace.
When you say these affirmations, close your eyes and visualize yourself sending light to the person you’re trying to let go of.
Every time you say an affirmation, you send your light to them.
Every time you send light to them, visualize the light in you growing stronger.
Repeat this visualization until your entire inner vision is enveloped with light.
Then place your right hand on your heart and your left hand on your stomach and just feel.
Feel into the peace, freedom, and joy of living in the light.
Even just a slight moment of relief is a sign that you have begun the process of letting go.
Set aside 5 minutes every day for this practice.
Repeat this practice until you no longer feel any negative emotions when you think about your specific person.