How To Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy In 3 Steps

Want to set boundaries with your friends and family? Here’s how to set boundaries and protect your energy.

A lot of people are hesitant to set boundaries because they are under the limiting belief that it is unkind or unloving to do so.

But boundaries are there to protect not only your energy but also the energy of everyone around you.

By protecting the positive vibrational energy of those in your life, you indirectly help them manifest more positive outcomes in their lives.

So setting boundaries is actually one of the most loving things you can do for your loved ones.

Follow these 3 steps to set boundaries that are backed by love and kindness.

1. Set A Positive Intention

woman smiling

The first step to setting boundaries is to set a positive intention.

Energy flows where intention goes. 

Your intention can single-handedly determine whether your boundaries are backed by positive energy or negative energy. Read up on the Emotional Guidance Scale to learn more about this.

Most of the time, we are driven to set boundaries after a toxic situation or argument with someone.

And when you don’t clear this energy up, your boundaries are going to be infused with anger and judgment.

If you want to set healthy boundaries that foster inner peace and healing, it’s important to forgive the past by setting a positive intention.

Say this Prayer to the Universe before you write down your boundaries, “I let go of the past and I release the future. I choose to make inner peace my highest priority. I welcome solutions of the highest good for all.”

2. Create Positive Boundaries

man writing

The second step to setting boundaries is to create positive boundaries.

The most common mistake when setting boundaries is to solely focus on what you don’t want to experience.

For example, “I don’t want to talk about money.” Or “I don’t feel comfortable discussing my relationship status.”

These boundaries are set from a negative perspective which will only manifest more of what you don’t want.

According to the Law of Attraction, even when you focus on the absence of something, you’re still giving attention to it, and thus attracting it into your reality.

And plus, no one likes to be told what not to do.

This is why it’s important to set boundaries from a positive place.

Positive boundaries focus on what you do want rather than what you don’t want.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t want to talk about, focus on what you do want to talk about.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t want to do, focus on what you do want to do.

Instead of focusing on what’s beyond your boundaries, focus on what’s within your boundaries.

Remember to use “I” statements when writing down your boundaries.

Boundaries are not intended to control how other people behave. They are here to protect your inner peace and alignment with the Universe (or God, Source, Higher Self—whatever name you identify with).

3. Communicate Your Boundaries

women talking

The final step to setting boundaries is to communicate your boundaries.

Once you have written down your positive boundaries, it’s time to have a conversation with the people they apply to.

As I explain in my book Feeling Good, your vibe speaks louder than your words.

Protect your energy with this prayer before having the conversation, “I honor my desire to be at peace. I step back and let the voice of love within me speak on my behalf.”

Your positive intention will guide your conversation and help you communicate your boundaries with love and kindness.

Remember that you are only responsible for your intention, not your reception.

If your boundaries are met with understanding, that’s a sign that they love and respect you as a person and you should continue this relationship.

If your boundaries are met with anger and hostility, that’s a sign that they don’t honor your needs and it’s time to reevaluate whether you want this person in your life or not.