Do you want to hold space for someone that you care about? Read this blog to learn how to hold space for someone in 5 steps.
What Does It Mean To Hold Space For Someone?
Holding space for someone means helping someone move through whatever they’re going through without any judgment or advice-giving.
You act as the non-judgmental witness to listening to whatever the person has to say and honoring it fully.
You create a safe space for them to express their truth in this present moment.
Holding space is an act of bravery and vulnerability for both the speaker and the listener.
And doing it correctly can deepen your relationship tremendously.
Read below for 5 steps to hold space for someone.
1. Let Them Come To You
The first step to holding space for someone is to let them come to you.
Just because you are ready to hold space for someone doesn’t mean the person is ready to talk about it.
So the best thing to do is to let them approach you.
You can let them know you are here for them and cultivate a relationship that’s built on trust and support.
So when they are ready to open up, they will know who to turn to.
2. Just Listen
The second step to holding space for someone is to just focus on listening.
Most of the time, people are just looking for someone to listen to their perceived problem and let their emotions out.
They are not looking for an immediate solution to physically get rid of their problem.
What they actually want is to simply feel better.
So instead of listening with the intention of giving a solution, listen with the intention of non-interference.
Recognize that while they may be facing a tough situation, they are also the solution to their own perceived problem.
Know that the best course of action is to be a sounding board and let the Universe handle the rest.
3. Honor Their Feelings
The third step to holding space for someone is to honor their feelings.
When people encounter a tough situation, all sorts of feelings can come up to the surface.
A normally happy and cheerful person can suddenly be dragged down by low vibrational emotions like worry, anger, and fear.
The key to holding space for someone is to let them know it’s a safe space for them to feel their feelings.
You can say to them, “I want to honor you for allowing these emotions to come up. I know it’s not easy to witness them.”
By giving them permission to feel into their negative emotions, they can recognize how they don’t want to feel which allows them to clarify how they do want to feel.
As I teach in my manifestation course, you can use the Emotional Guidance Scale to identify the emotion they are currently in and assess if they are going up or down the scale.
It is not uncommon for someone to move up the scale and feel better simply by releasing their negative emotions through conversation.
4. Call On Compassion
The fourth step to holding space for someone is to call on compassion.
When you’re listening to someone, it’s natural for your mind to judge the situation from your own perspective.
You may think they are making a big deal out of nothing. Or you would handle the situation differently. Or maybe you think they are actually in the wrong.
Whatever your opinions are—keep it to yourself for now.
Your job when holding space for someone is to see the situation from their perspective.
Call on the high vibrational energy of compassion and let compassion be your compass.
Holding space for someone doesn’t mean you have to fully agree with their actions.
Instead, it’s honoring all of their feelings without any judgment.
5. Protect Your Own Energy
The final step to holding space for someone is to protect your own energy.
As I discuss in Chapter 6 of my self-help book, Feeling Good, you must be unapologetic about protecting your own energy in order to serve others.
Because if you are do not intentionally protect your energy, you have nothing to give anyway.
Your energy has the power to influence the energy around you due to the vibrational momentum caused by the Law of Attraction.
By maintaining high vibrations and positive energy, you can actually elevate those who are stuck in low vibrations.
Before you hold space for others, you can prepare your energy by praying to the Universe and allowing your higher self to speak on your behalf. This will you approach the conversation from the lens of love rather than fear.
After you hold space for others, you can cleanse your energy by reciting these affirmations for stress relief or doing a quick 5-minute meditation.
What To Say When Holding Space For Someone?
If you want to hold space for someone, here are a few phrases you need to keeping mind.
- I’m here for you.
- I’m just here to listen.
- I promise I won’t judge you no matter what.
- This is a safe space.
- Is there anything I can do to support you?
How To Hold Space For A Woman
The key to holding space for a woman is just to give them time to work through whatever emotions they’re going through.
In general, women are more emotional than men, so it will take them extra time to work through their emotions.
The best thing you can do to hold space for a woman is to just be a sounding board and don’t offer any advice unless you are asked.